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Parenting is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and plenty of surprises. Among the most universal challenges is navigating infant sleep—a topic that often feels like an endless maze of conflicting advice, myths, and well-meaning but overwhelming guidance. In a recent episode of The Cradle and Coos Podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jen Kiatta, a San Francisco-based IBCLC, sleep consultant, and postpartum doula. Together, we tackled the realities of infant sleep and worked to debunk some of the most common misconceptions.
From understanding the chaotic first few weeks of a baby’s life to delving into the often-polarizing topic of sleep training, Jen brought a compassionate, evidence-based perspective that left me—and I hope our listeners—feeling reassured and better equipped to navigate this important aspect of early parenting.
The Early Weeks: Adjusting to a New Normal
Jen began by sharing what parents can typically expect during the first month after bringing their baby home. Those early weeks are a whirlwind of feeding, recovery, and bonding, with sleep often taking a back seat. Babies, she explained, generally fall into one of two categories:
- The Sleepy Baby: These little ones are difficult to wake and often doze off during feeds, spending most of their time asleep.
- The Alert Baby: These babies are wide awake, insatiable, and often need to suck constantly—an instinct that helps build milk supply.
Around the two-week mark, things often shift. Sleepy babies may become more alert, while active babies might start to settle. At this stage, parents can begin gently introducing some early sleep habits, such as observing their baby’s awake windows—brief periods of activity that typically last 60 to 90 minutes. These windows include everything from feeding and diaper changes to moments of quiet alertness. Recognizing sleep cues during these windows can make it easier to settle babies for naps.
Early Habits That Help
While rigid sleep schedules are unrealistic for newborns, Jen shared simple strategies to help families create a foundation for better sleep. Frequent daytime feeds, for example, can promote longer stretches of nighttime sleep. Similarly, cluster feeding in the evening—a series of closely spaced feeds—can help babies feel more full and rest longer at night.
Other soothing tools, such as swaddling and white noise machines, mimic the comfort of the womb and provide cues that help babies transition to sleep more easily. Jen emphasized, however, that every baby is unique. What works wonders for one may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.
Parenting Without the Pressure
One of the most profound moments in our conversation was when Jen urged parents to reflect on the pressures they feel. She encouraged them to ask:
- How much of this is hard because it’s inherently hard?
- How much is hard because of societal expectations or the belief that I should be doing things differently?
Parenting, especially in the early days, comes with its own set of challenges. Adding external pressures or comparisons can make an already difficult phase feel even harder. Jen emphasized the importance of finding supportive communities and focusing on what works best for your family.
Final Thoughts
Jen left us with a powerful reminder: there’s no one “right” way to parent. Whether you choose to co-sleep, sleep train, or take a hybrid approach, the most important thing is to honor your baby’s unique needs while also taking care of yourself.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by sleep struggles, reaching out to a professional like Jen can make a world of difference. A skilled consultant can help create a personalized plan tailored to your family’s specific circumstances, providing both guidance and reassurance.
For those looking to dive deeper into this topic, Jen recommended several excellent resources:
- "Sweet Sleep" by La Leche League: A guide to safe co-sleeping.
- Dr. James McKenna’s Work and research on co-sleeping.
- "The Happy Sleeper", a science-backedl guide to developing healthy sleep habits.
Parenting isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about finding what works for you and your baby, one step at a time.
Chapters of the Podcast Episode
To explore the conversation in more detail, here’s a breakdown of key moments from the podcast:
- 00:00: Introduction to Jen Kiatta and her expertise.
- 03:12: Jen's journey into sleep training and lactation.
- 04:21: Parenting duality and embracing patience.
- 07:42: Misconceptions and realities of sleep training.
- 11:49: Understanding newborn sleep patterns.
- 13:58: Transitioning to awake windows.
- 22:35: Exploring co-sleeping and sleep training.
- 41:35: Emotional impact of sleep challenges.
- 43:31: Recommended resources for parents.
Whether you’re a first-time parent or navigating the challenges of raising multiple children, know that you’re not alone. With expert advice, supportive communities, and a willingness to adapt, you’ll find your way—one sleep-deprived step at a time.
